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AFTER 40 YEARS, ELTON JOHN NEEDS A TELEPROMPTER TO SING HIS OWN SONGS
Elton John may be a pinball wizard, but a lyrical wizard, he’s not. After 40 years of performing the same damned songs over and over again, Elton still can’t remember the words. He was spotted recently using a teleprompter onstage, for the lyrics to his own songs. Perhaps Elton’s getting a little senile in his old age. The maker of the autocue device says that everyone from Paul McCartney to Elton uses the device. Which sounds to us like old dudes are definitely the demographic.
Image from: Daily Mail.
36 SONGS TO SOUNDTRACK YOUR SUICIDE
Well, you’ve got the Smiths, and you’ve got… then what? AV Club has compiled a list of 36 Songs About Suicide. It’s a bit of an unexpected list, you’ve got your Smiths, your Johnny Cash, your theme song to “M*A*S*H.” We’re not sure exactly how depressing the subject matter of some of the songs are, but many of them are so bad they do give us the urge to slit our wrists, just a little bit.
Some highlights:
3. Johnny Cash, “Hurt”
Trent Reznor has written plenty of songs that could send you off to the medicine cabinet or closed garage, but he never topped Johnny Cash’s version of his song “Hurt” for sheer crushing desperation. Maybe that’s because Johnny was actually so close to the end of his life when he recorded it—his voice wraps around lines like “Everyone I know goes away in the end” as if they’re old friends. Even the seemingly hopeful closing lines (“If I could start again, a million miles away”) are resigned to the fact that the past is gone, and can’t be changed.5. The Replacements, “The Ledge”
For the jumper who’s more angry than sad, there’s The Replacements’ spooky “The Ledge.” It isn’t the greatest song on Pleased To Meet Me, but a close listen to the lyrics reveals something deeper than the watery, Cure-ish guitars. It’s about a boy who’s been ignored, but who gets plenty of attention once he’s ready to plummet. It ends: “All the love that they pledge / for the last time will not reach the ledge.”
PROOF THAT MUSIC HAS GONE STRAIGHT DOWNHILL: JASON MRAZ
Quick! Take a guess which song holds the record for the longest run on the Billboard Top 100 Chart. Whatever you guessed, you’re wrong. The correct answer is Jason Mraz – “I’m Yours.” Yes, really. The song has been on the Billboard Top 100 for 71 weeks now, just eclipsing LeAnn Rimes “How Do I Live” which spent 69 weeks on the chart in the ’90s. It really doesn’t take much to impress these days. It’s kind of a catchy song, but 71 freakin weeks?
INTERNET PEOPLE 2: THE SEQUEL
How many Internet celebrities can you spot in this YouTube video? 7000? Tron Guy deserves his very own cartoon!
IN DEFENSE OF THIRD EYE BLIND
Third Eye Blind, one of those crappy ’90s bands that all sounded alike, is back with a new album. “NY Mag” has a piece by former Blender music editor Rob Tannenbaum about Third Eye Blind and all guilty pleasure bands, for that matter. We’re still not convinced, but it’s a good read, nonetheless.
DID KORN FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE MONEY ON DOWNLOADS BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE?
Speaking of crappy ’90s bands, Korn is still going, and to everyone’s amazement, they just might have figured out how to make a buck in this age of digital downloads. Korn is releasing four EPs this year, available to fans who subscribe to a monthly membership to their site. With all the smart people out there in the music business, could Korn be smarter than all of them? The world is going to end.
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