No matter what, we’re always going to want CDs. Downloads are cheap and efficient, but they miss the whole experience. Sometimes that experience is about more than the music. Sometimes, that experience is about having the lyrics to read along to, funny notes and pictures of the band. Sometimes, it’s about the cover art.
Sometimes, though, it’s just about having something to spank it to while you’re listening to the album. We’ve collected some of the sexiest, most spankable album covers ever made. There’s no way you’ll want to download these. Who wants to stare at those little postage stamp-sized images? Splurge (not splooge) for the CD. Better yet, get these albums on vinyl, for maximum effect.
10. Louis XIV – “The Best Little Secrets Are Kept”
Hipster band Louis XIV sneaks into the list with the best use of a Sharpie, ever.
9. Deftones – “Around the Fur”
It’s all about the steamy. Hey, what’s with the random feet? Is it a guy or another girl? Who cares, they’ll do.
8. Ween – “Chocolate and Cheese”
This album is mistitled. A better title would have been fake boobs and… fake boobs!
7. The Strokes – “Is This It”
Were The Strokes really as good as everyone said they were, or was everyone just mesmerized by the album cover?
6. The Cars – “Candy-O”
The Cars were so great, they even had sexy drawings on their album covers. If it was real, it would be number one.
5. The Black Crowes – “Amorica”
America. Stars, stripes and warm cherry pie.
4. Kid Loco – “Jesus Life For Children Under 12 Inches”
Who is Kid Loco, you ask? Ask us if we give a damn!
3. Pulp – “This is Hardcore”
Now this is truth in advertising. This album cover is hardcore. The promo materials for this album took it one step further, with a naked woman embracing a dog. We don’t remember the music, but we do remember this album cover.
2. Roxy Music – “Country Life”
This album was made all the way back in the ’70s, and 30 years later, it’s just as sexy as ever.
1. Sugar Ray – “Lemonade and Brownies”
Sugar Ray was one of the multitudes of crappy “alterna-bands” in the mid-’90s. They’re the only ones who forever claimed a spot in our hearts (and our pants).
For some more spank for your bank, check out the 10 Videos That Put Hair on Our Palms, and the 14 Juiciest Booty Songs.
This post was written by Steve Gifford, who still spanks it to 8-tracks.
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