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10 Songs That Will Prepare You For A Robot Uprising

Thursday August 27, 2009 8:00 AM

uprising

The above image is the cover of the book “How To Survive a Robot Uprising: Tips on Defending Yourself Against the Coming Rebellion.” If you’re serious about defending your family against the impending robot uprising, you’ll get that book. You will also listen to these songs for clues about robot vulnerabilities. (Hint: Liquids seem to work. Water, more water, and beer).

Don’t take any chances! You’ve read the “Zombie Survival Guide,” and you’re all ready for the Zombie Apocalypse. You best be prepared for the robot uprising. It’s coming, and it’s coming soon. Just as soon as Microsoft starts making robots that spy on you and report your consumer habits back to Bill Gates.

10. Say Hi – “I’m in Love With an Android”
Yeah, there’s going to be a whole movement fighting for Man and Bot marriages. God created Adam and Eve! Not Adam and S.T.E.V.E.-MCL80!

9. Andrew Thompson – “We’re in Business”
This is how it’ll happen. Your robots will lull you into a false sense of security, then they will break out the secret weapons you’ve given them!

8. 8-Bit – “Drunk”
8-Bit is the world’s best rapping robot foursome. They’re already here, and they’re drinking all of our beer.

7. Dee D. Jackson – “Automatic Love”
Yeah, the first step for the robots will be to steal all of our women. Robots can do it all week long. Just give them a little squirt of WD-40, and they’re ready to go.

6. The Flaming Lips – “Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots”
Defending mankind against the robot uprising is going to depend on a whole lot of Japanese heroines with karate skills.

5. Flight of the Conchords – “Robot Song”
Once the humans are all gone, robots will walk the streets and sing about our corpses.

4. Daft Punk – “Robot Rock”
Songs for robots only need one line. Robots don’t bore easily. Except…

3. They Might Be Giants – “Robot Parade”
Beware, this is a trap. When you see posters for a robot parade, run! It’s a trick to get the humans all in one place with nowhere to run!

2. Kraftwerk – “We Are Robots”
If we have to have robots around, Kraftwerk are exactly the type of robots that we can trust. Still, never let your guard down, or look them in their laser eyes.

1. Styx – “Mr. Roboto”
The ultimate robot song, ever. It’s about a man sneaking out of robot prison in a big robot suit. Better get to practicing, though. Robots have come a long way since the early ’80s. They have voice recognition software now, and they’re not this easily fooled!

Robots are already working on the takeover. This robot is running for mayor of Atlanta. Was Abe Lincoln real or robot? Maybe all of our Presidents were robots. Run!

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