So, you’re ready to play guitar. You’ve learned all the chords to “Stairway to Heaven” and “Enter Sandman,” and you’re ready for your first gig. This is a momentous occasion, and not just any old axe is going to do. What you need is a guitar that really portrays your personality and taste, no matter how awful that taste might be.
We’ve scoured the internet in search of some amazing axes, and the internet delivered. We’ve collected some of the best for you, in the 10 Craziest Guitars of All Time.
10. The Pot Leaf
A guitar player that smokes pot? Good thing your guitar is shaped like it, or we might have never guessed!
9. The Scissors
We’re not sure if there’s supposed to be some witty hidden meaning here, but it’ll be more impressive if they’re used to sacrifice bats in the middle of a metal show.
8. The Quad Guitar
What’s better than two heads? Four. Four heads! Can he play them with his toes?
7. The Machine Gun
Sometimes, you have to work hard and try to overcompensate for your manhood. If the spandex pants don’t get the point across, then there’s always the guitar that combines Ted Nugent’s favorite hobbies.
6. Yngwie Malmsteen’s Creepy Lord of the Rings Walking Tree-like Guitar
It’s not supposed to actually look like anything (as far as we can tell) but it’s pretty badass. Let’s see them try to smash this one!
5. The Stubby 4-Headed Guitar
Apparently, three of the heads are for the midgets you plan to have strapped onto your chest throughout the show.
4. The Bigfoot
The perfect gift for the squatch hunter in your life. Also, deer urine, night vision goggles, and lots and lots of soap.
3. The Mermaid
Just being able to carry this thing around is impressive enough. Playing it without fondling her boobs? A master at work.
2. The Wangcaster
If you’ve ever been to a metal show, the guitar is just a metaphor for penis, anyway. It’s about time they cut out the middle man.
1. The Teenar
Just playing this thing will likely get you on a Sex Offender list.
For some more creepiness, check out the Creepiest Album Covers of All Time, and the Most Satanic Hidden Messages in Songs.
Comments