We at Funk Jelly would like to let the record show that we like big butts. We cannot lie. Who amongst us shall deny the bootyliciousness?
As long as there have been butts, we’re pretty sure people have been writing songs about them. And slapping them. And tapping them. And… trapping them?
Today, we’re respecting big, beautiful booties, and the songs about them. Here are our nominees for the 14 Juiciest Booty Songs ever!
BONUS LINK: The 20 Worst Cover Songs In Pop Music History
14. Tim Wilson – “Booty Man”
Discount booty? When did Walmart start stocking booty? Beware of falling asses!
13. Lene Nystrom – “It’s Your Duty to Shake That Booty”
Seriously, people. Use it or lose it. Do it for your country.
12. Juvenile – “Back That Ass Up”
Sometimes, the ass is gonna require one of those beepers they put on big trucks, so the ass doesn’t crush smaller asses that might get in its path.
11. Eminem – “Ass Like That”
We’re not sure which makes this video creepier/more awesome. The juvenile lyrics, or the Muppets. We must admit, we’ve never seen Muppet ass before, so we could be really missing out.
10. Dutch Language Institute Commercial – “In the Ass”
This is why all them foreigners need to learn English. This commercial is for the Dutch, but still. Speak English or… get f*cked in the ass. That appears to be the point behind this commercial.
9. Mystikal – “Shake Ya Ass”
Someone better hurry up and shake it, because Mystikal sounds pretty damned angry. If I don’t see asses shaking, someone’s gonna get hurt up in here!
8. Project Pat – Good Googly Moogly
This is every bit as fun to say as it is to watch. This song will be stuck in your head, all day long. We guarantee it.
7. Mos Def – “Ms. Fat Booty”
Ass so fat, you can see it from the front. Possibly the best line in any of these songs. Mos Def, why must you always be so much smarter than everyone else?
6. 2 Live Crew – “Face Down, Ass Up”
The hell TV show is this? Old white people diversity hour? They’re totally wondering where Bono’s at.
5. Eddie Murphy – “Boogie in Your Butt”
Back when anything Eddie touched turned to gold. Stand up routines, multiple personality movies, butts…
4. KC and the Sunshine Band – “Shake Your Booty”
This right here might be the song that started the whole entire Bootylanche.
3. Queen – “Fat Bottomed Girls”
Oh, Freddie. You pretended so convincingly.
2. Sir Mix-a-Lot – “Baby Got Back”
This one got SPRUNG all the way to #2, for being the most famous song about booty of all time.
1. The Wet Spots – “Do You Take It?”
Extra credit for setup, and punchline delivery. We’re laughing our Fat bottoms off over here.
Looking for some more rump-shaking? Check out the Top 20 Women Who Rocked Our Asses, the Best Dance Moves in Hip Hop History (for some real Booty Popping), and the 10 Videos That Put Hair on Our Palms.
Comments