Calling all homely women! America’s Got Talent is on the hunt for YOU!
They know a hit when they see one, and now they’re trying to ape the success of Susan Boyle, the woman who shocked the world on Britain’s Got Talent, when she opened her mouth and sounded unlike the mutant creature she looked like.
Piers Morgan, a British judge who works on both the British and American versions of the show said of Boyle “What she has done is laid the gauntlet down to America. Beat that. She’s the biggest star from any talent show ever. See what you can do, America.”
Translation: Give us your haggard, your homely, your unfit, so that they may come forth and drive up views on YouTube.
We’ve searched the internets, and we think we’ve found the three top contenders to be the next American Boyle Idol. The contenders:
Rhonda, from Appalachia.
We hear she does a mean version of The Moldy Peaches’ “Who’s Got the Crack?”
Starlene, from the Trailer Park out on Route 9
Starlene can smoke 2 packs of cigarettes in under 2 minutes. Doing the dishes? Not in her repertoire.
Jolene, from the Midwest
Is there a technical term for the kind of psychological trauma that makes you fear stripper poles for the rest of your life?
Comments