We remember a time when MTV played music videos. It’s hard to believe, we know, but MTV used to stand for “Music Television”. Music videos came in all flavors, from funny to the epic and serious mini-movies.
Just like every other product, though, from sports cars to wireless print servers, nothing sells music quite like sex. MTV was full of it. You couldn’t find a video that wasn’t full of bikini-clad booties bouncing between the years of 1989 and 1996.
Those who reached puberty long before the invention of internet hentai rejoiced. Who needed Sex Ed when Sir Mix-a-Lot was there to tell you what to like?
It’s in the name of these videos that we celebrate. Those videos who helped us dive into puberty full steam ahead. We bring you The Top 10 Videos that Put Hair on Our Palms:
10. Divinyls – I Touch Myself
The song that launched a million stripping careers.
9. Sir Mix-a-Lot – Baby Got Back
It’s videos like this that turned you into an Ass Man 4 Life.
8. Madonna – Erotica
If you turn the sound off, you won’t be able to tell the difference between this and that Euro Art Porn stuff.
7. Whitesnake – Here I Go Again
Baby, we wanna do things to you that have only ever been accomplished in Whitesnake videos.
6. RZA – La Rhumba
If you’ve ever wondered what a 13 year old boy all jacked up on hormones sees every time he closes his eyes, we can assure you it’s exactly like this.
5. DJ Peran – We Want to Be Free
Those poor, hard-working girls. Who will wash them?
4. Van Halen – Hot For Teacher
When you’re a 7th grade boy, every female teacher gives you a boner, even the ugly ones. Especially the ugly ones.
3. Eric Prydz – Call on Me
Stuck in a cheap hotel room watching old 70s workout shows on PBS? That emptiness you feel is because you forgot about this.
2. Madonna – Justify My Love
Yeah, Madonna’s on here twice, but that’s what happens when you spend a decade and a half straight in nothing but a garter belt and a smile.
1. Sacha Dith – Russian Girls
Who among you is so patriotic that they don’t have an urge right now to defect and sell all America’s secrets to the Russians? Show your faces!
If you enjoyed this, be sure to check out some of our other perverted posts:
The 10 Worst Songs to Lose Your Virginity To
The Pervert Mustache Rap
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