Yesterday was CD release Tuesday, and we’ve been sorting through 156245124 new releases and re-issues to find the real objets d’art: Badass album covers!
Some of these are hilarious, some are just outright creepy. We’ll leave it to you to match them up. We have no idea what any of these bands sound like, but we’d buy these albums just for the cover art alone.
12. 4-4 water – On Top of My Game
We’re not sure if this album cover says “high roller” or “I’m just sitting here in my flight attendant uniform at these nickel slots so they’ll bring me free wine coolers.” That’s not true. We’re sure.
11. Sweetbottom – Angels of the Deep
Chalk this up under the WTF did they re-release this for? If you’ve ever thought about checking out one of those swingers clubs, just because you wonder what goes on, you can wonder no more.
10. Robin S. – From Now On
AKA “Why Black People Can’t Be Goth.”
9. Quest for Fire – Quest for Fire
Uhhh. Nice tits. For a dude.
8. Gord Russell – Fantasky
MS Paint hits the big time.
7. The Homemade Jamz Blues Band – I Got Blues for You
“I also got cheap hubcaps, and a special on slightly used tires… for you.”
6. TNT – Realized Fantasies
It’s pure sex. And toddlers.
5. Trailer Choir – Off the Hillbilly Hook
We only count one Hillbilly, so he’d better be extra off the Hillbilly hook. From the looks of it, Billy Bob will not disappoint.
4. Sukhawat Ali Khan – Shukriya
We knew they believe in reincarnation in India, but this is ridiculous. David Carradine hasn’t even been gone a week, and they’ve already reincarnated him as a Bhangra singer. This one gets extra badassedness, for impatience.
3. Cherona – The Sound of Cherona
The Sound of Cherona sounds a lot like TEEN NICK.
2. Baby Girlz – Girlz World
If we could be black teen girls, we’d be a bad ass, color-coordinated Hula Hoop gang, too!
And the baddest assed of the all…
1. Steel Panther – Feel the Steel
You might think this is a circa 1987 re-issue, but you’d be wrong. Right now, amongst us, there are people walking the same Earth we do, dressed like that. Note the calculated androgeny, and the careful juxtaposition of something tough and heavy (steel) with something straight off a high school girl’s Trapper Keeper (pink and purple panthers). This album cover lets you know that this band will rock your ass, then steal your sister’s rouge.
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