Music is dumb. Don’t get us wrong, we love music, but it’s rare that music ever poses questions more thought-provoking than “who put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop?” Well, WHO PUT IT THERE, DAMNIT?
Pink Floyd spoke for the whole music world when they put it bluntly: “We don’t need no education.” Not them there songs right here, though. These songs are guaranteed to make you S-M-R-T. These artists are so smart, they should be getting NEA grants. You’ll learn more in these 10 songs than you will in 12 full years of public education! (Hey wait, that’s not funny.)
10. “Alphabet Aerobics” by Blackalicious
Because Reading is FUNdamental.
Get more home-schoolin’ after the jump.
9. Torture Memos: Waterboarding
Government class. We don’t want to waterboard anyone, but our “beer boarding” idea sure looks promising, now.
8. “Why Does the Sun Shine” by They Might Be Giants
We just got blinded with some science!
7. “Adding Up Numbers” by Kompressor
TEN MINUS FOUR LEAVES JUST SIX MORE.
6. “I’m Downright Amazed at What I Can Destroy With Just a Hammer” by Atom and His Package
Woah! Bet you didn’t think you’d get a Physics lesson up in here, did you now?
5. “One Piece at a Time” by Johnny Cash
Listening to Johnny Cash actually counts as shop class credits in several states in middle America.
4. Animaniacs: “Countries of the World”
This gives us an idea for an educational geography/porn movie: Invading Djibouti.
3. “The Gambler” by The Gambler
Say what you will, but if you don’t learn when to hold them and when to fold them, your broke ass isn’t going to have to worry about any of this. The Muppet Show also just taught us how to smoke. Extra Credit!
2. Monty Python: The Philosophers Drinking Song
If a drunk philosopher p***es his pants, and nobody’s around to see it, did it really happen?
1. “I’m Just a Bill”
In all the times we’ve seen this, this is the first time we’ve ever noticed the magical moment right after 2:17.
We hope you took notes, because this is ALL going to be on the test.
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